for your information...

soo last night i welcomed my great family from pittsburgh to charlotte.
and more importantly i saw my soldier...for the 1st time since christmas.
he leaves for his 2nd deployment.
the serious-ness in his eyes calms me but un-nerves me at what is ahead for him.
Another year of telephone calls thats are so expensive..but i would pay all the money in the world to know my best friend is safe.
Another year of waiting at a computer for the moment when we can talk on IM together...
because when you are oceans apart..that is the only close-ness you can have..and its worth it.

I am so making the best of this weekend with him.
i dragged him to my house to meet my family..ha. and there was tons of.."he's cute" and "we missed you, we respect you as a soldier"
we stayed up till 3 in the morning talking..i laughed..he looked so consumed with guilt...
and my best hopes are for him to understand i have no bad feelings and i want most in the world for his guilt to go away. It pains me that he lives day to day with that.
i see a better future...
and for your information...your a good man.

in review...

I havent posted in forever...

So 2008 was amazing..and i would love to go through all of what happened but hell..i dont really know all of it.

so from christmas until now will do.

Im such a hermit too and i love it..yay.

I went to the polar express with my family the 1st week of december..great fun.

Aidan really loved it. Seeing Santa and getting a bell..and that damn train whistle..

We went to some tree farm to cut down our christmas tree and aborted that plan when we realized that the 6 ft tree's were $100 which sucks for us since we get like a 9ft tree every year.

My quest for the perfect christmas tree i think has finally come true this year..its so beautiful..maybe it has to do with how fun this year was doing all the decorations and spending time with my family.

On top of that my family has some how turned me into the craft department..this year i have made ...70 cupcakes, 30+ pizelles, 5 paper christmas trees, 4 reindeer, 2 ornaments, 2 gingerbread houses, 1 picture frame corkboard, 1 cake, and made more effing icing then i can even measure in numbers...that doesnt include the 5million trees i gonna have to pump out for dads train display in less the 24 hours.

New Years was amazing. I bowled into 2009..ha. It didnt give me any better luck in getting a score over 100. However..fun is all that matters.

For my wonderful sisters birthday we spent her last year in her 20's at a great resturant with great drinks and great laughs.

We had some snow..and i made a mini snowman..it lasted less then 5 mins since aidan knocked it over then duke at it...sigh.

My steelers won the superbowl and I am so sad that football season is over.

And officially I turn 24 on the 24th (golden birthday..oh yea). 1 year closer to being 25..gasp.

I love life and the people in mine.

.smiles.

isn't it ironic

we ignore those who adore us

adore those who ignore us

hurt those who love us and

love those who hurt us

there is a difference....

I think lately I have not been my self in attitude...excluding the last week.
I feel more myself. I think i just stopped caring too much. there is a difference. I still care.
Just not to the point of making myself sick over things.

Also kind of like.. I want you. I can admit it.
I want you in my life and think about it more then you would know
However I dont need you. If you were in my life I would need your honesty
your unconditional love and commiment.

there is a difference.
i want you. you know it
i dont need you.you know it

but isnt that how anyone would want it.
i want someone who doesnt need me to be them...

you are my sunshine

my only sunshine

you make me happy

when skies are grey

you'll never know, dear, how much I love you

please don't take my sunshine away

i just...

i just had the most amazing and relaxing and lazy 4th of july ever!!!

it was great!

and i also just went down 85 and 485 doing top speed of about 154
on the back of my soldiers bike...and it was equally AMAZING!!!
i so want a hott pink helmet ...like asap!


short and sweet...

Comparisons are easily done

Once you've had a taste of perfection

Like an apple hanging from a tree

I picked the ripest one

I still got the seed

You said move on

Where do I go

I guess second best

Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you

What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer

In the middle of winter

Like a hard candy

With a surprise center

How do I get better

Once I've had the best

You said there's

Tons of fish in the water

So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips

I taste your mouth

He pulled me in

I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you

What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into...

You're the best

And yes I do regret

How I could let myself

Let you go

Now the lesson's learned

I touched it I was burned

Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you

What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into your eyes

Looking into your eyes

Looking into your eyes

Oh won't you walk through

And bust in the door

And take me away

Oh no more mistakes

Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...