anatomy of meeting you

in the summer of 2004
i met this wonderful guy

and never in my life have i told him how important that night was to me.

i would think a year of undying love and support while he was in a place
no one should ever experience would be enough for him to know it
but i guess not.
I met him on the night of his graduation.he was so dorky.
and i loved it.

[he is the type of person who brightens my whole day

when his name shows up on my phone.

he is the type of person who makes me smile..

uncontrollably when i am in his presence

he is the type of person who makes me feel like me.]

[my best friend brandon called me and told me to come out and have fun

so for some crazy reason...i drove halfway across town to meet this guy.

why. i will never know. but i did and i am happy i did.]

he watched as every guy in our group of friends pursued me

and failed.

sat back and was my shoulder as i cried and cried over a failed relationship.

he was there for the moment when he knew i should step away and didn't.

he was there and should have told me to be smarter and been mad because i made stupid

decisions.but he wasn't.he was and is an amazing friend who stood strong for me.

[i was there for the moment we all ate dinner as the best of friends at brixx .

{crazy how him and i are the only ones still close since then}. before

our lives changed and he left. i was there for that moment in the hotel room when

he handed me that whistle.i was there for the moment when girls said they loved him.and didn't.

for the moments when he said he loved me..and the right words never came out of my mouth.
i was there for the best 2 weeks of Christmas i will ever in my life experience.

i was there for basic.basic graduation. ait.

the changes.the this is how i am now.and i can handle it.the army.

the i love you's.the i miss you's. the x number of days and a wake up.

the i cant wait to actually see your smiling face's.

the year of what seemed like torture in Afghanistan.and the aftermath.the up.the down.the promise it will all be ok]

as i hit a point in my life where i am me.

i look to him. more then anything.

he has made me ..me

he has made me realize more about myself in 4 short years then i think i could

learn on my own in a hundred.

i have spent the last years thinking i knew what love is until now.

because what i feel now. the pain i feel. the happiness i feel.

the acceptance and dissappointment. this moment in my life.

how i feel is love.

the last couple weeks we dont talk much.which makes me so sad.

[must i remind you i am the only girl who puts up with your BS and still loves you.vice versa]

he is stressed.so am i.the army does that to both of us.and i am here.

and as much as i want it to change. i cant do it all by myself.

i guess my point to all of this.

i look foward with no regrets. and so much appreciation.

of him. of them. of my bestfriends.

of the little things that break me down.

and bring me up

the things that take my breath away and things i will go through

alone.

even if i never wanted to.

if it means anything...i would choose you.