..i find myself

right now i find myself in one of the weirdest positions i have ever been it..ok maybe not the weirdest but very complicated -to say the least.

i dont think i could really explain it too much without having to ask others if they mind me talking about it. but my point i guess is just how life changes so quickly. 1 week ago my life was totally different and now it has been turned upside down. good or bad..i am not sure. I guess i will find out in 5 months or maybe alittle bit more.I guess I am just at a point where i have to wait...im used to that. and i am here.

The soldier arrived safely in FOB Salerno, I got to speak with him last night. I could hear helicopters in the back ground. It all amazes me and i hate it at the same time. basically i cried and he was my soldier...in a nut shell. Things will be ok. He just has alot on his mind...i think most of the troops do.

..(i got a picture sent to me over aim..thank you lexie...even in the worst situation the soldier smiles)..

♥

..bound in plaid..

..went to target the other day with the sister and i became obsessed, easy for me to do at target,

i bought a bunch of books for journaling.(check em)..yay. i am so in love with writing. i have like 6 different journal projects going on right now..im insane.

i think monday was the saddest day of my life so far to date: the soldier returned to the army. 2 weeks of being himself then back to being property of the army i stood at the gate (because the airport is nice and lets family go to the gate with deploying soldiers) and watched him walk away..back to afghanistan..and my heart sank. its not right. he deserves to be home..they all do.

i spent alot of time with him talking and saying he changed but i think i am the one who has also changed because of all this..i listened to a song in the rx-7 sitting next him crying , looking out the window and silently riding down 85 at like 3 am and it all really hit me about how this is for him. that same day the soldier came to my house and i watched him slide off his flip flops and run his feet in the grass and just seeing that made me realize how it was for him and how it is...i smiled at him and he smiled back, he has this way of being my best friend and looking so deep into my soul..he could tell me what i was thinking at any given moment..yet he still asks all the time..."what are you thinking about sunshine" it is burned into my mind..i will remember his voice saying that for the next 5 months ... and i ♥ you

life is simple..just as simple as squising grass through your toes....

...simple mind..simple pleasures...

...today..

today has got to be one of the best days ever....i drove to the airport..walked through the sliding doors turned to my left and ran...why..because i saw a soldier in camos smiling and waiting for me to rescue you him for once..instead of him rescuing me!!! ITS AN AMAZING DAY...the soldier is back at home and alive and safe and in one piece.!!!!....i am soo soo happy to see my best friends smiling face...

your awesome..i know you read this...